THE FIRST KISS
In the movie Hitch, Will Smith plays a dating coach named Hitch, who teaches guys how to win over the woman of their dreams. It’s a fun romantic comedy, and there’s a scene where Hitch is teaching Albert about the art of the first kiss. Hilarious clip here.
They talk about the 90-10 rule, where Hitch says, “The secret to a kiss is to go 90% of the way, and then hold… Hold for as long as it takes, for her to come the other 10.”
Hitch explains that most guys make the mistake of going all in, at 100%, while his technique makes the girl work for it. With his move, the guy should be so irresistible that the girl leans in at least 10% for the first kiss.
LIFE LESSON
I think of this scene as an analogy for life, except we are the ones receiving the kiss, and we have to go the 10%.
I think about this a lot because I feel like life is giving me all these signs. First of all I have to be observant about them – or be quiet / reflective enough to realize these signs. The signs can include: go talk to this person, or go to this event, or write / create a video about this topic. There’s all these things that I get hinted about. And I write them down, but sometimes I don’t have time to get to them. Or maybe I get too intimidated and don’t want to follow up on them. But then we don’t get the results we’re hoping for.
ENTREPRENEUR
I think the mistaken belief I had as a new author and new entrepreneur was that good things would just come to me automatically – at 100%. I believed that they would just land in my lap.
What I’ve realized over the last year is that we must take that 10% step to meet life halfway – or not even halfway. Life already brings good things into our life, but we still need to take initiative to grasp them and make them ours.
For example, life will plant a seed in my mind about a certain event to go to. It may be through the form of an email in my inbox about the event, or it may come up when talking to someone. Then my curiosity is piqued. Then it’s me to register for the event on time, and then to get dressed and show up to the event. Life / fate / God can’t magically transport me to the event. I have to put in the effort to get myself to the event. What ends up happening is I meet someone new or something positive happens, and I’m glad I went!
SELF-DOUBT HOLDS US BACK
What makes the process difficult is that sometimes we’re tired and we don’t want to take that step towards our goals, or sometimes we’re too overwhelmed by self-doubt. For scarier opportunities that require more visibility, we may feel like we’re not ready for them and we’d rather hide in the shadows than be seen.
So I think sometimes our mind will rationalize all these excuses and try to talk ourselves OUT of going.
COMMITTMENT
And I think that’s where commitment comes in. Being committed enough to our dreams and goals, means that we are willing to do whatever it takes to seize each opportunity as it comes.
Because unlike the first kiss strategy, “the guy” or “the opportunity” won’t always wait forever. Sometimes the opportunity is only available for a limited time window, and then disappears. And all you get left with is regret for not acting soon enough.
I feel the tides are turning. I’m realizing the signs that God has given me, and that it’s really my choice and responsibility to act on them. Some days, He will give me wonderful surprises all the way, but I think He wants me to work for it and to learn what’s really involved in building a successful business from the ground up. There’s a long road ahead and I’m going to need lots of bravery and guts.
I’m going to say it here, so I am publicly accountable: Regardless of my doubts and fears, I commit to leaning in to life. Hurrah!
Thanks for reading. XOXO
Is there a time in your life where an opportunity came up and you had to lean in to accept it?