This is the first YouTube video in a series of Quick Style Tips that will help you upgrade your style in a quick way with something you already have in your closet.
Age Pressure
You HAVE TO see the below video. Bravo to Chloe Bennet for expressing these words that so many of us feel. I saw this video as an ad on YouTube and it resonated so strongly with me (and apparently 5.4M other people as well). I’ve watched it multiple times and it evokes emotion for me every time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNPLbbluze8
(By the way, if you’re curious, she is reacting to the brand SKII’s short film called The Expiry Date.)
POWERFUL WORDS
My favorite part of Chloe’s video is at 2:01 when she says, “I think the moment that resonated with me the most in the film was when you see all these women really deciding to take their destiny into their own hands and make that decision to be true to themselves and say ‘Look this is who I am.'” These words (and the powerful way she says them) just sends chills through my spine. She goes on to describe the woman leaving the date as a powerful moment of standing up for herself. YASS GIRL!
MY MOMENTS
For me, the moment of “getting up from the table” was leaving my secure, well-paid job at Google. “Getting up from the table” was moving from being an author into personal styling. Sometimes it takes us months, years to realize that we need to get up and put ourselves in a different situation – whether for work or a personal relationship.
I think this gets a bad reputation because it looks like we’re unfocused / giving up early / unable to commit, but it’s just part of the journey. When we do something, we give it our all. But we don’t stay in the same place for very long. What worked for me at 28 years old, may not work for me at 30 years old.
Change is the only constant, and I’m not going to let anyone else box me into something they think I should do or be. And I’m definitely not going to go the “safer” route because oftentimes that makes me feel …(for lack of a better word) dead inside, like I’ve betrayed myself.
THIS IS ME
I’m going to be someone who is willing to re-invent myself over and over again until I get closer to who I am. I won’t minimize the hard work or fear involved. It’s going to be a daily challenge, but I’m going to keep “getting up” and going after what I want.
What are you going to choose?
Less is More – A Documentary on Minimalism
In a world that is driven by more money, more achievements, more prestige, I loved the refreshing perspective offered in the Netflix special called “Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things.”
DOCUMENTARY
I watched it last year and again this year. I think this documentary brings us back to our roots, reminds us that our time is short, and that materialistic things are fleeting. It also brings me great relief and peace because it reminds me that a happy, content life is achievable and simple – that it actually involves having less and being less crazy busy.
The documentary follows the journey of 2 guys, who call themselves the Minimalists. They have a blog here: https://www.theminimalists.com/ They had 6-figure incomes and successful careers, but they yearned for a more fulfilling life. And so they left most of it behind to pursue minimalism, and to travel the world teaching others about it.
MINIMALISM
The concept of minimalism is to boil your life down to the essentials that you need to be happy. And to not get wrapped up in all the fancy, elaborate things that you think will make you happy, but end up just adding clutter and burden to your life.
They emphasize that being minimalistic doesn’t mean being cheap or depriving yourself. You can still buy nice quality items, if they truly bring you joy. There’s just no need to buy an excess amount of them. It means spending your resources and time on things that actually matter to you. For example, one of the guys sold his house and now he has less stuff to maintain about his house. The documentary also showed the concept of tiny houses. And without the burden of taking care of a big house, these people had more time for quality time with loved ones.
BEING INTENTIONAL
Another way to put it is that minimalism is about living a very intentional life. For every expense you have, you question whether it’s worth it. You become more careful about resources and energy, and start to make room for the important things in life according to your values.
WHERE I’M AT
I tried minimalism for awhile, and I don’t think I’m quite a minimalist. I do like simplicity because I get overwhelmed easily. But there’s also lots of things that I have that make me happy, that I’m not quite ready to give up yet, ha! I guess it’s just about finding the right balance for myself.
I had a recent incident of ants in my kitchen, and had to fumigate it to get rid of them. That involved moving a bunch of my stuff into the bedroom and covering it with plastic so the fumes wouldn’t get onto it. In the process of moving all my items, I realized how much stuff I have that I don’t use.
For example, I have SO many books I don’t read. That prompted me to donate a huge amount to the library – 58 books in fact! It was bags and bags of books – I had to make 4 trips back and forth to the car. Afterwards, I felt like a huge weight lifted off me. I don’t think I want to buy anymore physical books, if possible. I’m going to go with digital books or library books, so I don’t end up with too many books sitting and collecting dust.
That donation gave me some momentum to declutter, so I’m going to start getting rid of more things. There’s no point in keeping things I will never use. Sometimes it’s the guilt of getting rid of them, but you just have to hold it in your hand, thank the item for being part of your life and for the role it played (i.e. if someone gave it to you), and then donate or toss it. (Marie Kondo advice) Clearing physical spaces clears our mental spaces, and makes room for new things – new ideas, new beginnings! And I want more of the latter!
To find out more about The Minimalists…
Blog: https://www.theminimalists.com/
Podcast: https://www.theminimalists.com/podcast/
Netflix documentary (trailer below): https://www.netflix.com/title/80114460
P.S. If you like this documentary, check out this one on The Illusion of Money.
Lessons Learned from 30-Day Podcast Challenge
I finished my 30-Day Podcast Challenge! It all started on a really hot day when I was sitting in my car in a parking lot in downtown San Jose. I had time to kill before my meeting, so I hit the record button and recorded my first episode.
I released it and committed to a goal of recording 1 podcast episode per day for 30 days. I wanted to try out podcasting as a platform, and I felt like a 30-Day Challenge was a quick way to see if I liked it or not.
Caveat: I started the challenge on June 1 and completed it on July 25, so it took me 55 days to create 30 episodes, but better late than never! I skipped some days or was too tired on other days, but nevertheless, I powered through and completed it!
Amassing a large number of subscribers was never a primary goal, I wanted to have zero expectations for my podcast, so I am pleasantly surprised that I have some listeners! Thank you, you know who you are!! I don’t mind sharing my analytics – everyone starts off with humble beginnings – so here are they are:
If you’re interested in doing your podcast, check out my earlier post on How to Start a Podcast. My friend Orlando mentioned he’s interested in doing a podcast now too, yay! It makes me super excited that I can encourage folks to do a podcast too and get their voice out there! 😀
Now to the main point of my blogpost. Here are the lessons learned from completing 30 episodes of my podcast:
1. Done is better than not done
I’ve always struggled with perfection, spending hours proofreading my blog posts and editing YouTube videos. When recording these podcasts in the Anchor app, you can’t edit individual audio segments. In cases like these, having limited functionality in an app is great! When I was recording, if I didn’t like the direction that I was going in, or I had a very long pause, then I would stop / delete the recording, and restart again. My episodes were around 5 minutes long, so that was one continuous audio recording. I learned to be okay with brief pauses or tiny stumbles because I didn’t want to record from the beginning again. This process could take me anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 mins to do an episode – much less time than doing a blogpost or YouTube video. Having a quick”win” by publishing an episode also gave me a high and a sense of accomplishment to keep me motivated to move onto my next work task during the day.
2. Having a podcast gives me a chance to practice speaking
I got lots of practice “public speaking” on my podcast. Technically I was talking into a phone by myself, but later other people would listen the podcast episode, so I would say it is somewhat like public speaking. I usually don’t like having the spotlight on me. Even in a 1:1 setting, sometimes I won’t know what to say, so I’ll redirect the focus onto the other person by asking them a question. Doing that habit over the course of my life means that I’m not used to having lots of blank space to fill with my own words. By having a one-woman podcast (monologue style), in a way, I was forced to fill the blank void and verbally express my thoughts and feelings. Over the 30 episodes, I noticed (and other people noticed), that I started to stutter / stumble / pause less. Hooray for progress! Now I do find it easier to talk on YouTube videos when I’ve had recent and consistent practice of doing my podcast.
3. When I admit my weaknesses or struggles, I feel less burdened by them
Through podcasting, I found an outlet for me to be pretty raw and vulnerable but in a safe way. It is scary to put myself out there, but with audio only, it’s a little easier. Maybe it’s because people can’t see me that I feel a little safer. Regardless, I’ve found podcasting as a place to open up and chat. Sometimes I ramble. Sometimes I talk about things that inspire me. Sometimes I talk about things that confuse me, or things that I’m not very good at (i.e. cooking), or the life skills I’m still working on (i.e. remembering to eat 3 meals a day). But in admitting all these imperfect sides of me, it gives me relief that I don’t have to hold up the mask of perfection of having it all together – because that is just tiring to keep up. And interestingly enough, once I admit these things publicly on my podcast, I feel that I’ve acknowledged/ accepted it as a part of me. Then I can take a deep breath and move onto other things.
WHAT’S NEXT
I’m sure there are more lessons that I’ve learned, but those will continue to unfold over time. I will continue creating podcast episodes because it brings me many positive feelings and benefits as mentioned above. But I probably won’t be publishing on a daily timeline. I’m happy to do it at my own pace, when I feel like I have something to share.
If you’re curious to check out my podcast, search for “What Kat Found Out” in your favorite podcast player or listen here: https://anchor.fm/katkuan
Have you thought about creating your own podcast? If so, what topic are you thinking of?
A Big Announcement
I’ve been keeping it under wraps for a while now, but I’m finally ready to share about the new shift in my business! I posted a new YouTube video on my channel:
Favorite Song Lyrics
I love music. It lifts my mood. It awakens my spirit. It makes me feel my own strength when I belt out a tune (albeit off key). It makes me feel more connected to others. It makes me feel like there are words to express myself.
But I realized that I lack the ability to hear lyrics when I listen to a song. I will know certain phrases or verses to sing along, but for the most part I don’t actually know what they’re saying or what the meaning is behind the song. And to clarify, these are all songs in English, my native and only language LOL. It baffles my boyfriend, who can clearly hear all the lyrics and understand what the song is about.
It’s probably because I don’t listen closely enough. I just want to sit back and enjoy the tunes!
With that said, I’ve found that there are certain lines of songs that just resonate with me, which is why I wanted to share them in this blogpost. I love those parts – even if I can’t relate to the rest of the song. So here are those isolated lines!
“Guess I never dared to know myself”
Hailee Steinfield, BloodPop – Capital Letters
“When will my reflection show who I am inside?”
Christina Aguilera – Reflection
“I’ve looked for love in every stranger”
Selena Gomez, Marshmello – Wolves
“I’ve been quiet for too long”
Marshmello ft. Khalid – Silence
“Listen to the song here in my heart”
Beyoncé – Listen
“I will be the strongest that he ever knew”
Ina Wroldsen – Strongest
“I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me”
Alan Walker, Keala Settle, The Greatest Showman Ensemble – This is Me
Are there any lines of songs that you love?
Short Story Contest Submission
Photo Credit: Amandalen Madruga
Earlier this year, I wrote and submitted a piece to the Palo Alto Weekly Short Story Contest. I wanted a chance to write for fun and to flex my creative muscles. I didn’t win anything in the contest, but I won’t let that stop me from sharing my work with the world!
So below, I present to you my fictional short story:
MORE
She had it all. She looked in the mirror. She saw her reflection. A young woman with wide-leg trousers and a silk blouse tucked in at her waist. Makeup was fresh and loose curls framed her face. At quick glance, she had it all – a successful career, charming husband, beautiful home, and plenty of loved ones in her life.
Yet in the depth of her eyes, there was a sadness, and emptiness – like she was not all quite there. That her mind was off in some wispy place, where her dreams roamed free and her life looked completely different than it did now.
She cleared her throat and adjusted her necklace. With a swift look at her watch, she realized she was running late. She scrambled to gather her belongings and rushed into the car, jamming the key into the ignition. She backed out of the driveway and headed to work on the same mundane route that she had taken countless times before. She felt empty, yet so rushed. She felt like there were a million things to do at home, and that there were a million things waiting for her on her desk once she stepped foot into the office. She never seemed to have enough time. The faster she ran, the faster it ran away from her.
She delivered some important documents into the VP’s office. She looked wistfully around at the office, and at the woman who sat in a chair behind the desk. She wanted that role. She knew how much more it paid than hers. She knew the money would help with the mortgage and stressful bills piling up on her desk at home. However, there were three other people also up for promotion. They were neck-in-neck with similarly high-profile projects, but she worried that the other people were more likeable than her. They were more social with the boss. They were more outgoing and funnier than her.
She was just too darn busy at work to socialize or add anything else onto her plate to get more recognition. She was exhausted. She plopped into her office chair for a few brief minutes before she had to get up. In her next meeting, she’d have to make a presentation and face difficult questions on the lackluster product sales numbers. She kept mentally checking off whether she was doing the appropriate things her manager reminded her to focus on to get that promotion. But in a tiny corner in the back of her mind, she wanted to escape.
She wanted to escape this massive trap that she had somehow gotten ensnared in. She could barely breathe. She was drowning. She was barely surviving. It was motion after motion, executing item after item like a workhorse – both at work and at home. Was this life? Was this what she was meant to do? Surely a life of more joy could exist – but she didn’t know anyone around her that found it. Every time she questioned what was going on, she got shut down. “This is the way it’s always been done here.” “Life is hard.” “This is what it’s supposed to be like.”
Even as people kept repeating those mantras to her, louder and stronger, they never failed to extinguish this little glimmer of hope inside her. The hope that there was something more. That there was this life that could be hers, where in fact life was simple. Life was quiet. Life was joyous. Life was just… life. There was no self-inflicted suffering or anxiety-inducing phone calls or emails. There was just her and the people she loved. When she told people about this fantasy of a better life, they laughed at her. They told her that it was a myth and that hello? she better return to the real world.
But even that didn’t stop her. She knew that she was meant for something more. She knew that she had a sliver of a chance to make a change. There was a rapidly closing window of opportunity where she could possibly escape this trap. The longer she sat and thought about it, time was mocking her and running farther and farther away from her.
Finally, something in her snapped. It didn’t matter who else she talked to. It didn’t matter who would give or not give her permission. SHE would be the one to give herself permission to choose her own path. And her path was not the one that this company had set out for her. For so many years, the company had led her to believe that the VP’s office was the way forward, but her heart was calling her elsewhere. Even though she was gripped with fear in every cell of her body, her heart contained a steady and strong conviction that her path was the way out the door. The way out into the world.
She pushed the door open, smelled the brisk fresh air of freedom, and took a confident first step out into the world. The door slammed shut behind her, but she didn’t feel as sad as she thought she would. Because when one door closes, a million more doors open.
How to Prep For a Book Signing Event
Since I’ve had the opportunity to do several storytime & book signing events for my book, I wanted to share my experience on prepping for these events.
I don’t really have to practice the speaking part because I’ve read aloud the book enough times already lol. Also, when you’re presenting to kids, there’s not enough time to tell your whole elaborate backstory because of their attention span. 😛 So after a quick intro, I usually jump right into the book!
Photo Credit: Eastridge Center
I usually prep the night before by packing the car with anything I need to bring with me. I suppose this packing list could be applicable for any small business owner doing a booth as well, with modifications for their product.
PACKING LIST
- Books. My books come in boxes of 30. So I usually bring a box or two of books into the event, and leave extra boxes in the car for backup. I haven’t even needed remotely close to that many, but doesn’t hurt to be prepared!
- Rolling cart. There’s a lot of stuff to carry from the car to the venue, so this helps.
- Sample book. This is my demo book that I use when I pitch bookstores. It has sentimental value! But it’s also beat-up around the corners, so I continue to use this one for storytimes because the book has been opened many times. (You know how new books don’t really fully open, and you don’t want to ruin them by opening them up?) It is pretty banged up though, so I may need to retire this soon! 🙁
- Pens for signing. I bought some quick dry pens from Office Depot. They’re great because you sign and it dries quickly – I would hate for it to smudge.
- Sign with the Book Price. My book doesn’t have the price on the back of it because I wasn’t sure how I was going to price it or if it would change. At first, I tried to avoid having a sign with the book price – to keep it classy! 😛 But that didn’t work out too well because people would need to keep asking me, or even more awkward, they would think the books were free… So yeah, bring a sign with the price clearly displayed.
- Business cards. I made them from an Office Depot template and really like them. I often get compliments on them too!
- Binder of early drawings. I gathered early sketches and printed out iPad drawings from on the book illustration process. I put them in a binder so people could easily flip through it and see the evolution of my drawings.
- Activity materials. I have copies of a coloring page and crayons for the kids to use. Sometimes the place I’m going to already has coloring supplies.
- Water. You’re going to be talking a lot. Stay hydrated.
- Spare friend/family member. Sometimes it gets really hectic with talking to potential customers, and fumbling with accepting cash/credit card. It’s easier if there’s another person available with you. And also to watch the booth if you need to go to the bathroom. 🙂
- Sign up for mailing list. Sign up sheet for people to join your mailing list
- Canvas for signing & colorful Sharpie pens. To add a little more interactivity, I also bought a blank canvas and had people sign by filling in the blank “Use your voice to ____” with their own phrase. Pretty fun to see what people write down.
PAYMENTS
- Square payment reader. If the location is a bookstore, then the bookstore will handle the payment transactions. But if it’s not a bookstore, then I collect payments. I use a Square reader for accepting credit cards. I tweak it for the city that I’m going to (automatically back calculates the tax). Charge the device ahead of time. Bring your phone because it pairs with Bluetooth to complete the transaction, so the customer can provide their signature and get a receipt emailed or texted to them.
- Cash for change. A cashbox is useful. I also got a paper receipt book too in case anyone wanted a receipt, but no one does, ha!
DISPLAY
In case you’re wondering about where I got the extra decorations, I went to HomeGoods, Ross, and Michaels to collect a bunch of supplies. From watching interior design videos on YouTube, I tried to create an eye-catching, cozy, kids-room type of feel to the booth. Sometimes, people are more interested in the decorations (i.e. the colorful train pictured above) than the book, haha!
My cart of things at HomeGoods
Overall, these in-person events are a fun way to meet new folks (parents, grandparents, aunts / uncles, etc..) and also little kiddos! The kids have so much energy and I love when they open up and chat with me. Hugs are even better! The perks of being an author!
Photo Credit: Kristin Antons
Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into what it’s like to be an author. For more details on my book, check out Use Your Voice on Amazon. Plus, since it’s Prime Day, I think there’s a discount code for $5 off $20 purchase of books shipped by Amazon. Sweet!
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. And of course, I recommend the book regardless. Well, I am a little biased since I wrote the book. 😛
A Trick to Fall Asleep on those Sleepless Nights
I’m usually working on the computer until late at night, so by the time I try to go to sleep, my mind is unfortunately still pretty alert and buzzing with thoughts, ideas, and worries. I know, it’s a bad habit.
For those nights I keep tossing and turning, wondering about more and more things, I end up turning to my phone to use this app to go to sleep.
It’s the 10% Happier app – a meditation app. I literally only use it for this 1 meditation! It’s the “Melt Into Sleep” meditation. It was a free app and the meditation is free to listen to as well.
Note: For new users, not sure if the experience is the same. My boyfriend downloaded the app, but this particular meditation was locked without the premium subscription.
For this meditation there are different time durations available – you can pick from 10 min, 15 min, options etc.. I usually select 20 minutes.
For some reason, once it starts playing, my other thoughts start to quiet and I just focus on the guy’s voice – even if there are periods of silence. I suppose it just gives me something to focus on.
For the most part, I usually fall asleep before the end of the meditation. There are cases that I do actually hear the end of the meditation – “Sleep well.” But I’m usually in a drowsy state that I doze off soon after that.
You can find the 10% Happier app here: Google Play Store & App Store
The creator Dan Harris from ABC News also has a 10% Happier podcast that explores the topic of meditation further with guest interviews.
What tips do you use to fall asleep?
A Time for Everything
One of the things I’m working on is to become more patient.
I think it’s very easy to become impatient when we have ambitious goals (including starting a business) because we want everything to happen as soon as possible. But alas, life is a process. When accomplishments take longer and are harder to earn, we end up valuing them more.
So I want to share this Bible verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (I don’t know even know how to pronounce that…). Anyhow, this verse / poem gives me peace and reminds me that things will unfold on their own time:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
– Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
For my life in the present moment, I think it’s a time for stretching beyond my comfort zone, which can be exciting yet uncomfortably scary. What time is it for you now?
Love, Kat